No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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