I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
my vag is so smooth its legendary
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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