Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
