As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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