Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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