I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
