Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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