Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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