is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Did I show you my penis last night?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
