So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize