Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
