I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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