Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
