we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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