You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
