I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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