i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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