So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
