I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
