you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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