I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
