That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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