how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
