Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
