One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
