12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
The adults are the big ones right?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
