ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
