she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
