Having a random hookup so left but love u
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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