I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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