I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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