i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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