I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
