it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
