i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
