Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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