after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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