i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The Olympian is in my bed
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
