I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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