Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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