Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
