Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
