i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
