I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The struggles of a small town man whore
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
