need another drink. this is the easiest way
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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