Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
