There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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