Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
