I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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