I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
