Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
