I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
