alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
