he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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