We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
