The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
