I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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