I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
