Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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