i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
