I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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