dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
